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THE MOTHER AND DAUGHTER EXPECTANT
:A
mother and her daughter were at the gynecologist's office. The
mother asked the doctor to examine her daughter. "She has been
having some strange symptoms and I'm worried about her," the
mother said.
The doctor examined the daughter carefully and then announced,
"Madam, I believe your daughter is pregnant."
The mother gasped, "That's nonsense! Why, my little girl has
nothing whatsoever to do with men." She turned to the girl. "You
don't, do you, dear?"
"No, mumsy," said the girl. "Why, you know that I have never so
much as kissed a man!" The doctor looked from mother to daughter,
and back again. Then, silently he stood up and walked to the
window, staring out.
He continued staring until the mother felt compelled to ask,
"Doctor, is there something wrong out there?"
"No, Madam," said the doctor. "It's just that the last time
anything like this happened, a star appeared in the East and I was
looking to see if another one was going to show up." |
PHYSICAL EXAMINATION
A
young man goes to a doctor for a physical examination. When he
gets into the room, the man strips for his exam. He has a dick the
size of a little kid's little finger. A nurse standing in the room
sees his little dick and begins to laugh hysterically.
The young man gives her a stern look and say, "You shouldn't
laugh, it's been swollen like that for two weeks now!" |
BIRTH CONTROL PILLS!:An
elderly woman went into the doctor's office. When the doctor asked
why she was there, she replied, "I'd like to have some birth
control pills."
Taken aback, the doctor thought for a minute and then said,
"Excuse me, Mrs. Smith, but you're 75 years old. What possible use
could you have for birth control pills?"
The woman responded, "They help me sleep better."
The doctor thought some more and continued, "How in the world do
birth control pills help you to sleep?"
The woman said, "I put them in my granddaughter's orange juice and
I sleep better at night." |
WILL IT HURT MUCH, DOCTOR?:
A
woman goes to her doctor who verifies that she is pregnant. This
is her first pregnancy. The doctor asks her if she has any
questions. She replies, "Well, I'm a little worried about the
pain. How much will childbirth hurt?"
The doctor answered, "Well, that varies from woman to woman and
pregnancy to pregnancy and besides, it's difficult to describe
pain."
"I know, but can't you give me some idea?" she asks.
"Grab your upper lip and pull it out a little..."
"Like this?"
"A little more..."
"Like this?"
"No. A little more..."
"Like this?"
"Yes. Does that hurt?"
"A little bit."
"Now stretch it over your head!" |
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