Q: What should you give an elf who wants to be taller?
A: Elf raising flour.

A man walks into a bar with a newt on his shoulder. The barman looks at the creature and asks the man what he calls it.
"Tiny" replies the man.
"Why's that?" asks the bartender.
"Because he's my newt!"

Q: What carries round a sack and bites people?
A: Santa Jaws

A Plane was flying through the jungle when suddenly the engine stalled. The pilot ejected and drifted gently down to land. Unfortunately he landed in a large cooking pot which was gently simmering over a low fire.
All the local tribesmen turned to look at him until the chief, blinking in disbelief asked, "What's this flier doing in my soup?"

Q: What soldiers smell of salt and pepper?
A: Seasoned troopers.

Two fisherman are out sailing when suddenly a hand appears in the sea. "What's this?" asked the first fisherman, "It looks as if someone is drowning!"
"No," explained the second fisherman, "It's just a little wave."

Q: What's an Eskimo's favorite song?
A: Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow!

Q: Where does Tarzan buy his clothes?
A: At a Jungle Sale!

First Man: I bet I can make you speak like a Red Indian?
Second Man: How?
First Man: Told you I could.

Q: Why is perfume so obedient?
A: Because it's scent everywhere it goes.